It is possible to have all of your needs met permanently. Now, that might make your life just a bit too effortless, but we hear that people find some rewarding way to fill up the time that is freed up when they are not chasing needs.
This three-step program is designed to be used in conjunction with a professional coach, but you can start the process by completing the steps outlined here.
It takes most people about a year to reach the 25-point level for all four needs. Make it a great time in your life. You needn’t suffer as you get your needs fully satisfied.
Purpose of Program
The purpose of the NeedLess program process is to help you to:
Identify what your personal needs are
Understand how to get your personal needs met
Design an effective system to have them vanish
What are personal needs?
Personal needs (versus bodily needs such as water, food, and shelter) are those things we must have in order to be our best. One can get through life fairly well not having these needs met, but for an effortless, rewarding, and successful life, personal needs must be identified, addressed, and handled.
Many of us spend our lives trying (consciously or not) to get these needs met. At best, we treat the symptoms or get temporary relief from them. This is for two reasons: Most of us assume these needs will always be with us and that’s just the way things are. This is not true.
It does take a special technique to handle personal needs once and for all. We call that the NeedLess process. Your professional coach can assist you to more fully understand the dynamic of needs and the steps to make them vanish.
NeedLess Program 100-Point Checklist
Give yourself credit as you get points on the 100-point program. Fill in columns from the bottom up.
Please read these instructions twice, and read carefully to let the subtleties show themselves.
Step 1: Select 10 needs.
Read the list of needs and circle approximately 10 that resonate as a need for you. You are looking for a need—not a want, a should, a fantasy, or a wish. A need is something that must be met for you to be your best. Part of the first step is to tell the truth about what you actually need. This may be the first time you have ever admitted this to yourself. Some of these you will know innately. Others require some straight looking. Please be willing to “try on” words you might normally skip over. These may be hidden needs. If so, you may have one or more of the following reactions:
- “No, no, no; I don’t want that to be a need.”
- You can’t get to the next word quickly enough.
- “If that were true, I’d have to change my life a lot!”
- You flush, blush, or shake when reading the word.
Now circle the 10 words you believe to be personal needs. Ask yourself: “If I had this, would I be able to reach my goals and vision without effort?” (Work yes, struggle no.)
Step 2: Narrow your needs to four.
We all need a little of everything on this list. But we want you to pick the four personal needs from the ones you circled. You may wish to compare each of your 10 needs with each of the others and ask yourself, “Now, do I need X or Y? Which ones could I live well without? Which ones, when met, make the other ones not as important?” Choose your four personal needs and write them down on the top of the checklist provided.
Step 3: Create a system to get your needs met.
Now that you have your personal needs identified, you will want to design a way to have them all met, permanently. This satisfaction system has three parts, as described in the following sections.
A boundary is a line you draw all around you that permits only the behaviors of others that are acceptable and nourishing to you. You may set a boundary of not allowing anyone to hit you, yell at you, be critical of you, take advantage of you, not show affection, call you only when they need something, interrupt you when you are working, and the like. You may be permitting these behaviors now for some pretty good reasons. But there are no excuses or reasons to let anyone do anything to you that hurts you, distracts you, uses you, or commands your attention. You will want to establish a boundary that is much more than you actually need. Be rigorous with yourself on this one. You cannot get your needs met if you are unwilling to set significant boundaries, so no excuses. Be selfish on this one!
When you set a boundary, you are protecting your heart, your soul, and what we call self. So you cannot be your self without the protection provided by strong, healthy boundaries. The people who really care about you will honor these boundaries and will care for you more, but give everyone time to get used to them.
Getting a Selfish Automatic Sprinkler System
Once boundaries are identified and installed, the next step is to design what we call a Selfish Automatic Sprinkler System, or SASS. A SASS is just what the term implies. You want your need to be satisfied (watered) whether you’re thinking about it or not (automatically). This takes a little creative work to put together—your professional coach has experience with this one and is a good person with whom to brainstorm.
SASS examples include getting friends to satisfy your need by saying or doing specific things you have designed for them to do, like calling you, including you, doing things for you (that you asked for), telling you how they appreciate you, and so on. You will want to be shameless in this process of designing and implementing a SASS. It is good to tell the people around you how they can satisfy your needs. Remember, it is only temporary, because when the SASS is operating properly, these needs vanish.
Raising Your Personal Standards
After you have started on boundaries and your SASS, begin to substantially raise your personal standards (PSs). These are the behaviors you hold yourself to in order to become a bigger person. Examples of PSs range from the obvious to the advanced: Don’t steal, always tell the truth, speak straight, be unconditionally constructive, be responsible for how you are heard rather than what you say, don’t smoke or abuse your body, always be early, avoid all adrenaline rushes.
Set PSs that are a stretch, but not ones that will cause you to fail. You will have plenty of time to upgrade them with the extra energy you receive as your needs become met.
NeedLess Program Checklist
Use this checklist to guide yourself through the program. Fill in the circle when you have started on the step. Fill in the square when you have completed the step. Fill in the appropriate box on the checklist provided when you have completed the step. Work these 25 steps in order.
Do this process for each of the four needs you’ve chosen as personal needs.
Intellectual Property Notice
This material and these concepts are the intellectual property of Coach U, Inc. You may not repackage or resell this program without express written authorization and royalty payment. The exception is that you may deliver this program to single individuals without authorization or fee. If you lead a workshop or develop or deliver a program to a group or company based on or including this material or these concepts, authorization and fees are required. You may make as many copies of this program as you wish, as long as you make no changes or deletions of any kind.
Copyright © 2005 by Coach U. Inc. www.coachu.com.